I wrote this a while ago, but when I guess I never posted it. So here, to make up for the lack of posts on this blog as of late.
~*~
They were running back to the TARDIS when it started: rain, and lots of it, seemingly out of nowhere. Rose shrieked and scrambled to cover her hair (which she’d agonizingly straightened that morning), whereas the Doctor just laughed, opening his arms wide and lifting his face to the heavens, letting the rain pound onto his face. Seeing the look of pure delight on his face made Rose stop and just stare at him. It amazed her that even after all the heartache he’s endured, he can still find joy in the simplest of things. Some might lament the loss of the sun, but as the rain fell around them, he smiled like it never left.
“I love you!” she exclaimed before she could stop the words tumbling from her mouth. Seeing him like this, so unguarded and positively gleeful, the words fell from her lips of their own accord.
He looked down at her, eyebrows furrowed. “What did you say?” he shouted over the roar of the storm. He must not have heard her, and she didn’t know if she was thankful or relieved.
She laughed a little and shook her head. “I said, won’t the rain ruin your suit?” she replied.
The Doctor shrugged and shoved his hands in his pockets. “This suit’s been through worse,” he said. “Besides, a little rain never hurt anybody.”
Rose laughed and rolled her eyes. “Tell that to my hair,” she said, running a hand through it, her fingers snagging on the quickly forming curls.
“Oh I don’t know,” he said, taking a step closer and brushing a strand of hair away from her face. “I think it looks nice like this.” He tucks the piece behind her ear and lets his hand slide down, gently fingering the end. “Looks natural.” He cleared his throat and swallowed thickly, his Adam’s apple bobbing and nearly hypnotizing Rose. “Looks uhm…looks nice.”
“Thanks,” she mumbled, her hand acting of its own accord as it comes to rest at his elbow and suddenly there’s a hand on her hip and one on her cheek. In a matter of seconds, the air between them shifted from playful to something she couldn’t quite identify. The rain was now just a dull background noise compared to the pounding of her heart in her ears.
She placed her hand between his hearts and he sighed, leaning down and pressing their foreheads together, their noses brushing against each other. He pulled her closer until their bodies were pressed tightly together. Not even the rain could fall between them.
“What are we doing?” Rose asked softly, her hand coming up to grip his hair and he let out a shattered breath as her nails scraped against his scalp. She gasped sharply and nearly let out a moan as he gripped the soaking fabric of her shirt and ever so gently moved his hips against hers. “Doctor?”
He answered her with the press of his lips to hers. She had to stand on her toes to keep the kiss going, now gripping the lapels of his jacket. His tongue barely pressed against her lips when she parted them and he devoured her, his tongue memorizing every corner of her mouth. He shared with her the secrets of the universe through gasps and moans and her name on his lips like a prayer.
When not even his double respiratory bypass was enough to keep the oxygen flowing to his brain and they had to break apart for air, they just stared at each other, panting and gasping. Finally, Rose let out a shaky laugh. “Guess I should wear my hair like this more often,” she joked, her cheeks flushing in a way that the Doctor found almost irresistibly sexy.
He laughed along with her, stepping back, only to take her hand in his. “Come on,” he said. “Let’s go home.”
She smiled and squeezed his hand, swinging it slightly between them as they walked back to the TARDIS. They were silent the whole way, until they reached the blue box and he abruptly turned to her. She raised her eyebrows at him. “Yes?” she asked.
He smiled and gently touched her arm, leaning down and whispering in her ear, “I love you too.”
Title: I’ll Be Seeing You (Part 5/5)
Pairing/Characters: The Doctor (Tenth)/Rose Tyler
Timeline: AU after Fear Her
Word Count: 2,837
Summary: After she comes in contact with a terrible alien virus, Rose and the Doctor are forced to evaluate their future together, and work to hold on to the memories they’ve already made.
Warning: this story contains themes of memory loss.
Author’s Note: Well, here we are folks. The end of the line. I won’t say much and let the fic speak for itself. Again, a HUGE thank you to Oliver and Lauren for all their support throughout this fic, and thank you all for reading <3
Title: I’ll Be Seeing You (Part 4/5)
Pairing/Characters: The Doctor (Tenth)/Rose Tyler; Jackie Tyler, and Captain Jack Harkness.
Timeline: AU after Fear Her
Word Count: 5,654
Summary: After she comes in contact with a terrible alien virus, Rose and the Doctor are forced to evaluate their future together, and work to hold on to the memories they’ve already made.
Warning: this story contains themes of memory loss.
This is all Ollie’s fault. And Lauren’s because she encouraged it.
Title: I’ll Be Seeing You (Part 3/5)
Pairing/Characters: The Doctor (Tenth)/Rose Tyler; Jackie Tyler, Sarah Jane Smith, and Captain Jack Harkness.
Timeline: AU after Fear Her
Word Count: 4,489
Summary: After she comes in contact with a terrible alien virus, Rose and the Doctor are forced to evaluate their future together, and work to hold on to the memories they’ve already made.
Warning: this story contains themes of memory loss.
This is all Ollie’s fault. And Lauren’s because she encouraged it.
On Saturday morning, there’s a cloud over the Tyler residence. Jackie walks out of her bedroom to see the Doctor sitting at the kitchen table, dark circles under his eyes, untouched cup of tea on the table. His eyes are on the door to Rose’s bedroom, which is half open. Jackie peeks inside to see her daughter sleeping. She stands in the doorway for a while, and by the time she looks away and sits down at the table, the Doctor’s poured her a cup of tea.
“How is she?” Jackie asks.
“Fine now that she’s sleeping,” the Doctor tells her, eyes flickering over to the door. “It took a while to get her to sleep though.”
“You should sleep. You look tired.”
“I’m fine.”
There’s silence after that, neither of them knowing what to say. The week has taken its toll on the both of them, and after three days of crying and screaming and worrying, there’s nothing left but silence.
A knock on the door makes them both jump and Jackie frowns, standing up. “Who could that be this early in the morning?” she wonders, and the Doctor doesn’t have the energy to tell her it’s nearly one in the afternoon.
“Leave it, Jackie, I’ll get it, you drink your tea,” the Doctor says, pushing her gently back into her seat as she yawns. Though she’d gone to bed fairly early last night, he knows the stress of the week is taking its toll on her and wants her to rest.
Another knock on the door and he’s opening it, nearly falling over at who he sees standing there. “Sarah Jane?”
Her small smile fades and she reaches up to gently touch his cheek. “Oh dear,” she whispers, concern etched across her features. “It’s worse than I thought.”
He finds himself leaning into her touch, briefly closing his eyes and letting himself relax for a moment, before they snap back open and he steps away. “What are you doing here.”
Sarah Jane sighs and lowers her hand. “I’ll explain, do you mind if I come in?” she asks and he steps aside, letting her walk ahead of him.
She glances into Rose’s room as she passes, frowning before continuing to the kitchen. The Doctor looks inside the room for a moment as well. She’s still sleeping, the peaceful look on her face bringing him a sense of calm he hasn’t felt in days. Reluctantly he shuts the door and follows Sarah Jane.
“Can I get you a cup of tea, Sarah?” he asks, standing awkwardly at the counter as she sits down at the table across from Jackie, to whom she already seems to have introduced herself.
“That would be lovely, thanks,” she says, giving him a smile. He’s completely bewildered as to why she’s here, but her presence in the tiny, chaotic flat is a welcome change.
He pours the tea and adds three sugars (even after all these years, he still remembers how she likes her tea), before placing the cup in front of her and sitting down. “So what are you doing here?” he asks.
She takes a moment to answer, taking a sip. “I received a call from Rose yesterday morning,” she tells him.
Jackie instantly stiffens. “Rose? She called you yesterday?” she asks, incredulous. The Doctor can hardly believe it himself.
“Yes, and she didn’t seem…quite herself,” Sarah Jane says slowly, looking from Jackie to the Doctor and back again. “I knew something was wrong and came as soon as I could.”
The Doctor and Jackie exchange a glance before he explains: “Rose hasn’t exactlybeen herself the past few days.”
On Wednesday morning, the Doctor woke up to find Rose on the living room floor, her hair in a high ponytail, eating a bowl of cereal that was overflowing with milk, sitting extremely close to the television and watching Teletubbies, giggling and singing along.
He sat up slowly, shocked to see her awake so early. “Rose?” he says, his throat a little scratchy from sleep. “What time is it? Why are you up so early?”
She jumps at the sound of his voice, sloshing milk everywhere as she turns around. “Doctor! You’re awake!” she exclaims, abandoning her breakfast and crawling across the floor to him, jumping on the couch and throwing her arms around him in a hug.
Confused, he returns the embrace. “You are aware it’s only seven in the morning, right?” he asks. “The Rose Tyler I know is never up before ten.”
“Uhm, I had to get up to watch Teletubbies,” she says, hitting him in the arm. “Duuuuuh.”
Eyes narrowed, he holds her at arm’s length. “Rose,” he says slowly, “what’s today’s date?”
“October 3, 1992,” she says after a moment of thought.
His eyebrows shoot up, disappearing into his hair. “Which makes you five years old,” he says, his hearts pounding rapidly.
Rose rolls her eyes. “And a half,” she corrects stubbornly
“She woke up thinking she was five years old?” Sarah Jane asks, her shock reflecting that of the Doctor’s three days ago. “But why? What happened to her?”
Jackie sighs and stands up from the table. “I think I’m going to have a shower then pop out to the market,” she says, and the Doctor knows she doesn’t want to be around for another explanation of what’s happening to Rose. He doesn’t exactly blame her. “Anything I can get you?” she asks him.
The Doctor sits back in his chair and looks around the kitchen. “We’re out of bananas,” he says, the corner of his mouth lifting in the smallest of smiles.
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, that’s because you eat them all, you daft alien,” she says, her voice teasing but fond. She places a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “Call me if anything changes, okay?”
“I will, Jackie, thanks,” he promises, smiling at her as she leaves the room.
Sarah Jane reaches out and slips her hand into his. “You seem to be getting along quite well with her mum,” she says. “Never used to bond with the families. You’re going soft.” She attempts to cajole him into a smile, but his mouth is set in that same grim line, his eyes distant. “Okay,” she says, moving her chair closer, looking determined. “Start from the beginning.”
And so he does. He tells her all about the virus, about what it will do to Rose, and how soon it will happen. He explains the incident with the TARDIS key, and how it’s just gotten progressively worse. “Usually it’s just a moment or two of amnesia,” he says. “Nothing that could have prepared us for the last three days.”
Sarah Jane nods her head. “Regressing back to childhood,” she says, her tone sympathetic. Through his explanation, she remained calm, just held his hand and listened. For the first time in days, he feels like he has something anchoring him to this world.
“Right,” he says, nodding his head. “It scared me, Sarah,” he continues, voicing his fears for the first time. “A twenty-year-old thinking she’s five…she wanted to go outside and play, but how were we to explain her to the neighborhood? She would have drawn attention to herself, and we weren’t…” he pauses, taking a deep breath to get himself under control. “We weren’t prepared to deal with it.”
“Yes, she said you weren’t…coping very well,” she says, taking both their cups and putting them in the sink. He stands and leads her out into the living room, figuring they might as well be more comfortable.
“What did she say to you?” the Doctor asks as they sit down. “It must be a good sign that she remembered enough to call you.”
Sarah Jane smiles. “She’s very bright, you chose her well,” she says fondly. “But she told me you seemed sad and that I should come and cheer you up. She said you like me a lot and I could make you smile.” The Doctor doesn’t even know what to say to that, just grins and shakes his head. “She knows you very well, Doctor,” Sarah Jane says, taking his hand once more. “I don’t think some alien virus is going to change that.”
He wants so badly to believe her, but he recalls the uncomprehending look in her eyes at the mall on Wednesday, and the hope is shattered. “Yeah,” he says anyway, “I think you’re right.”
Of course, she can see right through his mask and looks as though she’s about to say as much, when a small voice comes from behind them: “Doctor?”
In an instant, the Doctor is on his feet and at Rose’s side. “Rose,” he says softly, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands in his. “How…how are you feeling?”
“Like the worst hangover ever times ten,” she says, rubbing her head. “Have you got any aspirin?”
But the Doctor doesn’t move. “What day is it?” he asks her.
She looks at him as though he’s grown two heads. “October 3, 2006,” she says. “Is that a special day or something?”
His shoulders sag and he looks down at the floor. “You don’t remember the last three days,” he says.
Suddenly, she’s kneeling too, forcing him to look at her. “The last three days?” she repeats, fear in her eyes. “Oh my God, what happened?” When he doesn’t answer she starts shaking him, dissolving into hysterics, “Doctor, tell me what happened!”
“Rose.” Sarah Jane is at her side, pulling her away from the Doctor and forcing her to stand. “Look at me. Rose, I need you to look at me,” Sarah Jane says softly, and Rose finally complies, looking at the older woman and shaking her head, gasping around her sobs, trying to speak but no words come. “Take a deep breath. Can you do that for me, Rose? In through your nose, out through your mouth.” She does this a few times, but Rose just continues to gasp. “Come on, just a few deep breaths.” Sarah Jane takes both of Rose’s hands in hers, grasping them tightly. “Together.”
The Doctor slumps against the wall, closing his eyes and mimicking their breathing: in through his nose, out through his mouth, until his hearts stop racing and he feels the calm wash over him. When he opens his eyes again, Rose and Sarah are embracing, Sarah Jane running a soothing hand up and down Rose’s back. He locks eyes with his former companion, hoping she understands the silent thanks he’s giving her.
“Why don’t you get changed,” Sarah Jane suggests as she holds Rose at arm’s length. “And you and I can go for a walk, hmm?” Rose nods her head silently, still visibly shaken, though she has calmed down considerably. She doesn’t even look at the Doctor before heading back into her room.
Sarah Jane offers the Doctor a hand and he gratefully takes it. “Thank you,” he says as she pulls him to his feet. “Really, I don’t know…I can’t…”
“Shush,” she says, shaking her head and waving away his thanks. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll keep her busy for an hour or two, you should call Jackie and let her know Rose is okay.”
“Right,” he says distractedly, eyes flickering to the door of Rose’s room. “Are you sure you’ll be okay with her? She doesn’t seem to be as calm during lapses anymore, what if she forgets you?”
“I have a cell phone, I can call you, but I’m sure I’ll be able to handle myself,” she reassures him. “Just stay here, have a shower, lie down and relax, you look like you haven’t slept properly in weeks. We’ll be back in a little while.”
The Doctor nods his head as Rose steps out of her bedroom. He wants to look at her, but quickly averts his eyes. It isn’t until he feels two warm hands close around his own that he looks up, seeing her standing there. There’s concern shining in her eyes, and he can’t believe that after all she’s going through, it’s him she’s worried about. “Have a good time with Sarah,” he manages to say, because he can’t think of anything else.
She leans forward and gently presses her lips against his. “I’ll be seeing you,” she says, squeezing his hands and kissing him again, letting her lips linger a moment longer.
When she steps away, he raises his hand in farewell, letting out a long breath when the door closes. After a moment or two to regain his composure, he goes to the bathroom, turning on the shower before removing all his clothes and stepping under the hot spray, letting it wash away the events of the past few days.
“Jackie, you need to come home,” the Doctor hisses into his cell phone, watching Rose from the window in the kitchen. She’s thrashing around on the floor, screaming and crying. “Please, she won’t listen to me.”
“What’s going on?” Jackie replies, sounding panicked. It’s the second day of this five-year-old Rose madness. Jackie’s out getting ice cream for the three of them, but the moment she stepped out the door, Rose seemed to…snap.
“She won’t listen to me!” he exclaims, eyes widening as Rose stands up and starts throwing things, ducking down and narrowly missing a plastic cup being thrown at his head. “She keeps screaming for you and won’t listen to a word I say, you need to get back now!”
“I’m about ten minutes away, try to hang in until then,” Jackie says, quickly hanging up the phone. The Doctor shoves his in his pocket and, steeling himself, steps back into the living room.
“Rose!” he says, as brightly as possible. “Your mum will be home in ten minutes and she’s got ice cream! Strawberry, your favorite!”
“NO!” Rose screams, stomping her feet. “I DON’T WANT YOU! I. WANT. MUMMY!”
“She’ll be home soon, I promise!”
“Just because you’re dating my mum doesn’t mean you can boss me around!” she exclaims, jumping up onto the couch to make herself taller.
“I’m not trying to—”
“You’re just like all the other guys!” she cries, crossing her arms over her chest in defiance. “You come in here and you try and make me do stuff and then you make my mum cry when you leave! I HATE YOU!”
The Doctor leans his head against the wall of the shower, closing his eyes. The water has long since run cold, but he can’t bring himself to move. Rationally, he knows that it wasn’t really Rose, not his Rose who said those words. But in that moment, Rose Tyler really did hate him. She hated him. He could see it in her eyes, in the way she would shake nearly every time he went near her.
That day at the mall (was it really only four days ago?), he thought nothing in the world could be worse than Rose not knowing who he was. He now knows how wrong he was.
After another minute or so, he turns off the water and steps out of the shower, drying himself off and changing into a new suit, leaving the jacket and tie off, rolling his shirtsleeves up to the elbows.
While waiting for Sarah Jane and Rose to return, he tidies up the flat a bit. Having Sarah Jane is a blessing he never knew he was hoping for. After what happened last night, he’d been afraid of how it would be today, even if Rose was back to normal. Of course, when she gets back she’ll be wondering about what happened. But how can he tell her?
Jackie arrives home shortly, laden with groceries. The Doctor helps her put them away while she chatters about making dinner for the four of them, assuming Sarah Jane will stay. ”That sounds great, I’m sure she’ll love it,” he replies, not really paying attention.
She suddenly grabs the box of cereal out of his hands, putting it down on the counter and putting her hands on her hips. “You’re thinking about it again,” she says, not asking.
The Doctor brushes it off. “Don’t be stupid, of course not,” he says, grabbing the cereal and putting it in the cupboard.
“But you are though!” Jackie exclaims, sighing and forcing him to look at her. “You know that wasn’t really her, she doesn’t really ha—”
Thankfully, the front door opens at that moment, and in come Sarah and Rose, laughing about something. Jackie gives him a look that clearly says they’ll talk more about it later before they both go out to the living room.
“Did you two have fun?” Jackie asks, sitting down with them, adding as an afterthought, “Doctor, could you put the kettle on?”
The Doctor laughs and gives her a small salute. “Yes mum,” he says.
“I never thought I’d see the day the Doctor took orders from someone’s mother,” Sarah Jane says and all three are laughing again.
“Why is it every time you two are together, I end up as the butt of a joke?” he asks, rolling his eyes teasingly before heading to the kitchen.
“Hold on, I’ll help,” Rose says suddenly, following him.
He doesn’t protest, although he’s secretly nervous about being alone with her. She closes the door behind them and before he can even reach for the kettle, she spins him around and kisses him.
What starts off as an innocent peck on the lips quickly picks up in passion. Rose’s hands grip his hair as his arms slide around her waist, pulling her close. He’s missed this, missed her.
They pull apart after what seems like hours, panting for breath. She smiles up at him, arms hanging loosely around his neck. “Hello,” she says, grinning brilliantly up at him.
He leans his forehead against hers, closing his eyes. “Hi,” he replies, holding her closer. He can’t believe he ever thought…god, he was such an idiot. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles, his eyes snapping open. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud.
“Sorry for what?” she asks, frowning. “Does this have to do with…with what happened this week?” He doesn’t say anything, so she pushes, as only Rose Tyler can. “Doctor, what happened? What did I do?”
“We can talk about it later, okay?” he says. “Let’s just go have dinner with your mum and Sarah and we can talk about it later.”
Her eyes narrow, but she complies, kissing him softly. “Okay,” she says, sighing. “Let’s get this tea going.”
The rest of the evening passes without incident. It’s a relief to be able to sit and dine with three women who mean so much to him (yes, even Jackie), to talk and laugh and just forget the past few days, if only for a little while. Most of all, it’s completely refreshing to see Rose smile, to feel her fingers lace through his beneath the table.
The sun is setting and they’re all nursing glasses of wine when Sarah Jane stands up. “I think it’s time for me to head back,” she announces.
The Doctor feels his stomach twist nervously. “Oh, are you sure?” he asks. “You could stay the night, have the couch. I don’t need sleep anyway.”
Sarah Jane shakes her head. “No, I’ve got Luke and Mr. Smith at home, Lord only knows how they’re getting on without me,” she laughs. Her eyes land on Rose, who stands up and crosses toward her, tears in her eyes. They meet in the middle and hug each other tightly. Rose whispers something to her and she smiles, pulling back and nodding her head. “It was wonderful to see you again, Rose,” she says earnestly, tears filling her own eyes. “Take care.”
Rose nods her head, wiping a tear away. “You too,” she chokes out, hugging her again.
The Doctor waits as Sarah Jane says goodbye to Jackie, promising to call next time she’s in London. Sarah turns to him now, smiling. “You can walk me out,” she says, smiling playfully as the Doctor grins and offers her his arm.
When they’re out on the balcony, he turns to her. “You’re sure you can’t stay?” he asks again, trying to keep the pleading tone out of his voice.
“No, Doctor, I can’t,” she says sadly, sliding her arm out of his as they stand in the cool night air. They’re both silent for a while until she says, “She’s scared.”
He looks at her, frowning. “Rose? Of course she is,” he says, sighing. “The whole thing is very scary for everyone, especially her.”
She shakes her head. “She’s scared for you,” she clarifies. “About how you’ll be after she’s gone.” The Doctor pales and doesn’t say anything, doesn’t protest that he’ll be fine, because they both know he won’t. “She’s scared you’ll hole yourself up in the TARDIS and never come out. She’s scared of you being alone.”
For the first time since this whole ordeal started, he allows the tears to fill his eyes, the lump to fill his throat. “She’ll be gone,” he whispers, afraid that if he speaks anymore, he’ll start crying in earnest.
“Come find me,” Sarah Jane says, hands coming up to frame his face, looking him in the eyes. “Take time to grieve, but after that, come and find me.” She blinks and tears track their way down her cheeks. “We both love you very, very much, Doctor. Neither of us want you to be alone.”
Wordlessly, he nods his head and pulls her into an embrace. She shakes with sobs against him and he lets out a deep breath, swallowing his tears. “I will, I promise,” he tells her softly, not knowing exactly how true those words are.
They’re interrupted when the door to the flat opens, light pouring out onto the balcony. “Doctor,” Jackie says as the Doctor and Sarah Jane pull apart. “Sorry to interrupt, but we have a…situation.”
“All right, I’ll leave you to it,” Sarah Jane says, giving him an encouraging smile. “Don’t forget what I said.”
“I won’t,” he replies, his mind already back in the flat with Rose.
Sarah Jane says goodbye to each of them once more before leaving, and the Doctor steps back inside, Jackie already explaining: “She thinks it’s just after New Years when you regenerated,” she whispers as they stand in the hallway. “And she’s asking about your friend Jack.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “All right, thank you, Jackie,” he says, squeezing her arm before heading into the living room.
Rose looks up and smiles at him, making room for him on the couch. “Hey, where’d you go?” she asks.
The Doctor shrugs, putting his feet up on the table. “Just down to the TARDIS, making sure she’s okay,” he says, giving her a smile.
She just stares at him for a moment before laughing. “God, it’s still so weird,” she says. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.”
He tries not to let his hurt show on his face. This is a conversation they’ve had, and he never dreamed they would again. “Well, I think you might,” he says, winking at her.
“I don’t know,” she says, sighing and running a hand through his hair. “This hair is so weird! There’s so much of it!”
The Doctor laughs. “Still disappointed I’m not ginger,” he says and they laugh together.
A few moments pass in silence. He’s expecting her to curl into him, kiss his cheek, and comment on the trashy London show they’re watching. Instead, she says the last thing in the world he expects: “I kind of wish Jack was here.”
Shocked, he looks down at her. “Jack?”
She nods her head, not looking at him. “I think that…I dunno, if he was here, I’d have an easier time adjusting,” she confesses, sounding embarrassed. “I’m sorry, I just…”
“Hey,” he says, tentatively reaching out and taking her hand, relieved beyond words when she doesn’t move away. “Don’t be sorry. I’ll call him, if that’s what you really want.”
She looks up at him, eyes alight. “Really?” she asks excitedly.
He silently weighs his options: no matter how he dances around it, no matter how much he doesn’t want to think about it, she doesn’t have much time left. Jack was once her best friend, he has the right to know. On the other hand, he left Jack alone on that space ship 200,000 years in the future. Will he even come when he calls?
“Yes, of course,” he says finally and she grins, squeezing his hand.
A few hours later, when both Tyler women are in bed, the Doctor steps outside, thumb hovering over the call button. Taking a deep breath, he bites the bullet and presses it, holding the phone to his ear.
“Captain Jack Harkness,” Jack answers after three rings. “What can I do for you?”
“Jack,” the Doctor says, clearing his throat. “It’s uhm…it’s the Doctor.”
Silence, and then, “Ah, Doctor. See you’ve regenerated, or hear rather.” His tone is impatient and bitter.
“Jack look, I know you’re angry with me—”
“Angry?” Jack repeats, laughing. “Oh Doctor, you do not even know the half of it.”
“No, believe me, I do, but you’ve got to—”
“I don’t “got to” do anything,” he replies, voice low and angry. “Give me one good reason for not hanging up or, better yet, giving your location to Torchwood.”
“It’s Rose,” the Doctor says simply, voice cracking over her name.
There’s more silence on the other end, and the Doctor closes his eyes, silently pleading for Jack to see reason, hoping that just her name will be enough to convince him.
A few agonizing moments pass until Jack finally answers. “I’m on my way.”
Title: I’ll Be Seeing You (Part 2/5)
Pairing/Characters: The Doctor (Tenth)/Rose Tyler; Jackie Tyler, mentions of Mickey Smith and Jimmy Stone.
Timeline: AU after Fear Her
Word Count: 3,575
Summary: After she comes in contact with a terrible alien virus, Rose and the Doctor are forced to evaluate their future together, and work to hold on to the memories they’ve already made.
Warning: this story contains themes of memory loss.
This is all Ollie’s fault. And Lauren’s because she encouraged it.
Title: I’ll Be Seeing You (Part 1/5)
Pairing/Characters: The Doctor (Tenth)/Rose Tyler; mentions of Mickey Smith and Jackie Tyler.
Timeline: AU after Fear Her
Word Count: 3,685
Summary: After she comes in contact with a terrible alien virus, Rose and the Doctor are forced to evaluate their future together, and work to hold on to the memories they’ve already made.
Warning: this story contains themes of memory loss.
Title: Come What May
Rating: PG
Pairing: The Doctor (Tenth)/Rose Tyler
Word Count: 1,688
Dedicated to Ollie, without whom this fic would not exist.
Whenever things look bad or they’re about to be separated, he takes her hand, squeezes it, and whispers those words in her ear. They mean that no matter what happened, no matter how bad things were, they’ll make it out of there alive. They’ll always have each other.
(Source: somethingtoavenge)
Title: Give Up And Live
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ten/Rose
Word Count: 6,594
Summary: Rose Tyler’s life was forever changed when a mysterious stranger grabbed her hand and told her to run from attacking shop window dummies. But what if this stranger didn’t have a daft old face and a leather jacket? What if he was a tall, thin man (with some really great hair) in a pinstripe suit?
Author’s Note: This fic was originally posted a few months ago under the title Endless Possibilities, but I’ve seen re-worked what I’ve written and re-visited the original plot outline, so maybe this time I’ll actually you know…update and stuff. Inspired by Naty, AMAZING graphics made by Pauleen. This entire fic is dedicated to those two lovely ladies, who have been instrumental in me picking this up again (aka, they nag me constantly about writing it. And I love them for it).
Title: Lights Will Guide You Home
Fandom: Doctor Who/Dead Like Me
Pairing: Nine/Rose
Characters: The Doctor, Sarah Jane Smith, Donna Noble, Jack Harkness, Martha Jones, Rory Williams, Rose Tyler, Mickey Smith. Mentions of Shareen and Jimmy Stone.
Word count: 3,291
No previous knowledge of Dead Like Me necessary.
Written for the Then There’s Us Fic-a-Thon
Dedicated to Jenn, the world’s best beta.
A mini-mix for this fic can be found here. Also made by Jenn.
Sarah Jane once said never to get attached to your marks. Get in there, take the soul, and walk away before things got too sticky. Maybe that was why she was the boss and he wasn’t. The Doctor was attached to this pink and yellow girl in a way he’d never been attached to anyone in his after-life.
R. Tyler
The Powell Estates Apartment 2A
E.T.D. 12:05 AM
“This has got to be a joke.”
The Doctor stared at the yellow post-it like a death sentence. And, he supposed, it kind of was. Just not his death. That had long since passed.
It seemed his companions were ignoring him. Sarah Jane was closing her planner; Martha was pulling out her cell phone; Donna was fishing around in her purse while Jack was trying to make a quick get-away. “Oh no you don’t,” the fiesty redhead snapped, reaching out and grasping Jack’s arm. “Dinner’s on you tonight, sunshine.”
He groaned and sat back down, reaching into his pocket. “I’m paying for your food like we’re fucking, and yet you’re the only one satisfied,” he said, slamming a twenty onto the table. “Tell me, where’s the justice in that?”
“Do I have to separate you two?” Sarah Jane huffed, raising her eyebrows threateningly at them.
Very seriously, Donna took both of Sarah Jane’s hands in her own. “Please,” she said. “For the love of God, please do.”
“Can you explain to me how I’m the only one with a bloody post-it on New Year’s Eve?” The Doctor ripped the post-it off the table, glaring as if it had offended him. “The one day a year it’s socially acceptable to get pissed off your arse, and I have to work.”
“I don’t make the rules, Doctor,” Sarah Jane said, “I just play by them.”
Martha hardly suppressed an eye roll and mumbled, “Doctor,” under her breath.
He was in no mood to deal with her holier than thou attitude today. “You got something to say, Ms. Jones?”
“Doctor Jones,” she corrected him, putting away her cell phone and standing up. “Once you earn a degree, Mr. Smith, I’ll start calling you Doctor.”
“Once you’ve been reaping souls for thousands of years, Ms. Jones, I’ll start caring what you call me,” he bit back.
Silence fell over the table, until Jack cut in, with an uncharacteristically awkward laugh, “He hasn’t been reaping for thousands of years.”
A cruel, mirthless laugh tore from the Doctor’s throat as he stood up and pulled on his leather jacket. “Sure feels like it,” he said before tearing out of the diner.
~*~
The Doctor stood on the street corner outside the Powell Estates, cigarrette perched between his lips. He breathed the smoke in as he checked the time. Ten o’clock. Just over two hours until R. Tyler would be meeting his end. Happy New Year, he thought, chuckling at his own joke.
With each breath smoke filled his lungs and he found himself starting to relax. The death was just after midnight. Even if he wasn’t ringing in the New Year with a bottle of Jack and the peace and quiet of his own flat without the four people he (reluctantly) called family talking his ear off, he could be back there by twelve thirty. Just in time some Macgyver re-runs.
“You know, you shouldn’t smoke.”
A timid male voice broke him out of his reverie. He turned, raising his eyebrows at the boy. He must have only been around twenty years old, and he was wearing nurse’s scrubs. The Doctor made no attempt to hide his disdain, thinking of Martha constantly reprimanding him for his nasty habit. “Oh?”
The boy approached him. “It causes lung cancer,” he began, “and emphyzema. They say for every pack you smoke, it takes eleven minutes off your life.”
The Doctor chuckled. “Don’t think that’s a problem,” he said, taking one last puff before dropping the cigarette to the ground and stomping it out. Maybe, if he was lucky, this was his mark. “What’s your name, kid?”
“Rory,” he replied, looking a bit put off by the Doctor’s use of the word ‘kid’.
Well, there’s an R. “Got a last name?”
“Williams.”
“Damn,” the Doctor mumbled, pulling another cigarette out of the pack. “You going to this party up in 2A?” If this kid wasn’t his mark, maybe he could at least help him find him.
Rory laughed and shook his head. “No, I’m headed back to the hospital,” he said, gesturing to his attire. “I’m a nurse.”
The Doctor pulled out his lighter and nodded. He’d just have to find this one on his own. “Happy New Year then.”
“And you,” Rory said, turning to walk away. “Oh,” he called over his shoulder. “If you’re going up to that party you should know, Shareen doesn’t let anyone smoke in her flat.”
~*~
After two more cigarettes, the Doctor found himself in the middle of a flat filled with teenagers who were drunk, teenagers who were making out, teenagers who were…doing a bit more than making out. Cheesy club music blasted from the speakers and he had to jump out of the way to avoid being puked on.
“Rose Tyler, you cannot hold your liquor!” a dark skinned boy giggled, trying to help her to her feet. “Shareen’s gonna kill you tomorrow.”
Well, that was easier than I thought.
“I can take care of myself!” she shrieked, swatting the boy’s hand away. “Why don’t you go see what Tricia’s up to, I’m sure she’ll be throwing herself at anyone she can get her hands on.”
“Rose—”
“Just go, Mickey!” Rose exclaimed, wiping the sick from her mouth with one hand and the tears from her eyes with the other. Mickey raised his hands in surrender and backed away, disappearing into the crowd.
Just his luck, the girl was already wasted and it was only 10:30. Taking pity on her, he gently helped her off her knees and into a standing position. He had an hour and a half til she died, might as well make her comfortable.
“I said I can take care of—” she stopped short when she looked up into the Doctor’s face. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked at him with confused eyes. “Do I know you?”
“I’m the Doctor,” he said, smiling politely at her. “And you’re Rose Tyler. Now we know each other.”
She grinned at him, tongue between her teeth. He found himself mesmerized by that small glimpse of tongue and her brilliant smile. “I guess we do.”
He was brought back to reality when she started to sway on the spot, looking a little green again. “Okay,” he said, letting him lean against her. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
~*~
Half an hour, a bottle of water, and a basket of chips later, Rose Tyler was beginning to sober up. They were sitting outside on the balcony, feet dangling over the edge. She leaned against the railing, closing her eyes and smiling at the cool contact of the metal against her cheek. “Thanks for helpin’ me,” she said, opening her eyes again after a few moments and sighing. “I was a mess.”
The Doctor shrugged. “I’ve seen worse,” he replied honestly. Her good nature was infectious, and he felt his mood lifting slightly. In the light of the streetlamp and away from the noise of the party, she reminded him of someone he knew long ago. Her smile and her laugh and the way her blond hair shone in the light…it reminded him of someone he hadn’t let himself think about in years.
“I was trying to…drown my sorrows, as it were,” she elaborated, taking a sip of Evian. “Boyfriend dumped me and I moved back home a couple weeks back.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said politely. He was surprised to find that it was the truth.
Rose rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Yeah well, it was a good thing,” she said. “I mean mum and Mickey and Shareen…they say it’s a good thing.”
“But you don’t believe that?”
She shrugged, pulling her jacket closer around her shoulders. “I dunno,” she sighed. “Doesn’t really matter, does it? Never get over your first love.”
He thought of Paris and scarves and secret kisses in the snow. “No, I suppose you don’t.”
A few moments passed in comfortable silence until she fixed him with an appraising look. “That leather jacket doesn’t really suit you,” she said suddenly.
He raised his eyebrows at her. “Really? And what would you suggest?” he asked, his tone teasing and his smile genuine.
“Oh, I dunno,” she said, biting her bottom lip in thought. A moment passed before her eyes lit up and she snapped her fingers. “A pinstripe suit!” she exclaimed. The Doctor had to fight the urge to laugh, both at her endearing excitement and her ridiculous suggestion. “Yes, brown pinstripes, trainers, and…hmmm…a long, brown coat.” She paused, before adding as an afterthought, “And maybe a blue suit too. You know, just to change things up a bit.”
Now he howled with laughter for the first time in what felt like years. He knew she wasn’t seeing his true face (big nose, daft ears, blue eyes), but that of a younger, prettier bloke with hair that was impossible to control. For some reason, he started to feel nervous. When she died, would she be disappointed by the real him? “I’ll keep that in mind,” he promised.
~*~
“What d’you think happens after we die?”
They were walking in the alley adjacent to the estate now, hand in hand. His jacket was draped over her shoulders, the half empty water bottle dangling from her free hand. The one he grapsed was small and firm and warm. He found himself never wanting to let go.
In the last half hour, they’d talked about virtually everything: school, work, food, clothes, television, politics. He knew more about this random girl than he did about Donna, Martha, Jack, and Sarah Jane combined. And in turn, he found himself pouring his heart out to her. All she had to do was flash a smile and he was hers.
He didn’t know what it was about her. Maybe it was the way her eyes melted with sadness when he told her about the car accident that killed his entire family, or how, when he’d had to leave his darling Romana behind to go to war, she squeezed his hand and offered an apology more sincere than he’d ever heard in his long life. Rose Tyler was filled with so much love and life…a life that would be cut short in just over half an hour.
Sarah Jane once said never to get attached to your marks. Get in there, take the soul, and walk away before things got too sticky. Maybe that was why she was the boss and he wasn’t. The Doctor was attached to this pink and yellow girl in a way he’d never been attached to anyone in his after-life.
“Hello?” she asked, and he realized he hadn’t been paying attention. “Doctor, did you hear my question?”
“Hmmm?” he smiled apologetically. “Sorry, love. What did you say?”
She giggled, hitting him playfully. “I said, what do you suppose happens after we die?”
A coldness that had nothing to do with the falling snow filled him up and he shuddered. “I truly do not know,” he said, not adding that she would soon know.
“Well, none of us do,” she said, hitting him again. He squeezed her hand in response. “That’s the fun of guessing. Is it heaven, hell, vast nothingness?”
“I don’t believe in heaven,” he found himself saying. And he supposed it was true: all the souls he’s reaped, all the people he’s seen die, he didn’t think they went on to heaven. He believed they simply went on.
She thought about this for a long while. Silence stretched on as the Doctor idly played with the ring around her thumb and wondered what the skin there tasted like. “I think…heaven is what you make it,” she said after a while. He didn’t speak, feeling that she wasn’t quite done. “I don’t think heaven is some great and mysterious place. Heaven is your favorite show on telly or a good basket of chips or…” she paused, blushing, “walking hand in hand with a cute stranger on New Year’s Eve.”
He grinned at her, his stomach twisting and turning. Donna would never let him live it down if she knew he was getting butterflies from a nineteen-year-old girl. They did nothing but look at each other for a while until he suddenly remembered why he was here. He looked at his watch, his heart sinking. “Five minutes until 2005,” he told her. Ten minutes until you die, he thought.
She sighed, continuing to walk and pulling him along with her. “2004 was awful,” she told him. “I just hope 2005 is better.”
“Saying that is bad luck,” he replied, swinging their hands slightly.
She laughed. “I’ve had my share of bad luck,” she said. “And I’m still here.” Suddenly, her hand was gone from his. He lamented the loss of the warmth but laughed as she ran ahead of him, spinning around and stretching her arms wide. “Bring it on, universe!” she shouted to the sky. “Whatever you want to dish out, I’m ready!”
The Doctor glanced down at his watch again. 11:58. Seven minutes.
Rose was in front of him, both of her hands grasping his. Her face was red from the cold and from excitement. Snow was sticking to her hair and she grinned brilliantly at him. “I want change, Doctor,” she said, seeming frantic and enchanted and just plain wonderful. “I want to see the world. New York City and Egypt and Barcelona. Maybe even a whole planet called Barcelona! I want to make a difference; discover the cure for cancer or…or save the world from an alien invasion. I want to meet Charles Dickens on Christmas with ghosts, solve a murder with Agatha Christie! And love…god, I want to love someone so much it hurts.”
He was captivated by her. Everything about her was so bright it was blinding. He wanted to know her, everything about her. In the space of an hour and a half, she’s taken this broken Reaper and made him a man. For the first time in hundreds of years, he wasn’t just undead. He was alive.
Clearing his throat, he said shakily, “I am so glad I met you.”
She laughed, squeezing his hands. “Me too.”
Somewhere on the estate, the countdown started: 10…9…8…
“You know,” she said, her face suddenly very close to hers. “I don’t have anyone to kiss at midnight.”
7…6…5…
The Doctor grinned, lifting a hand to brush her hair out of her face. “Rose Tyler,” he said softly. 4…3…2… “I bet you’re gonna have a really great year.”
As exclamations of “Happy New Year!” rang out around them, Rose Tyler and the Doctor kissed, softly and tenderly and brilliantly. He kept his lips pressed against hers for a moment longer, feeling the warmth of her soul on his tongue.
When they broke apart, she was smiling at him. “Happy New Year, Doctor,” she said, stepping away from him. The New Year’s spell was broken. It was time to move on.
Out of the corner of his eye, the Doctor saw a Graveling crawling up a building, but he averted his eyes. He didn’t want to know how the universe was going to steal away this precious girl. “I’ll see you later,” he said.
She grinned and winked at him. “Not if I see you first,” she said before turning around and walking away.
In the end, he couldn’t watch it. He turned away as she crossed the street back to the estate. He waited until 12:06 to turn around. There she was, at the end of the street, gazing at the wreckage of the car crash that took her life.
“I’m dead,” she said as he stood beside her. It wasn’t a question. She didn’t sound sad. She sounded ready.
“Yes, you are.”
She turned to look at him, her eyebrows raised. “Doctor?” she asked.
He grinned. “This is my true form.”
Her eyes swept over his body and she nodded her head. “Yeah, this makes a lot more sense,” she said, laughing. “So, there’s no heaven? I mean, you’d know better than me.”
“Doesn’t work like that,” he explained. He reached for her hand again. “I’m the one who takes you to your beyond. Wherever that may be.”
She smiled and squeezed his hand. “Lead the way.” They walked in silence until they rounded the corner. He could see the portal of light in the distance, though it made no distinct shape yet. “What happens to you?” she asked.
This took him by surprise. In his experience as a Reaper, no one had ever asked him that. It only seemed right that Rose Tyler would. “I stay here,” he told her. “Keep on reaping.”
She made a soft noise of understanding, but looked disappointed. As they got closer to the box, her eyebrows furrowed. Everyone’s portal to the beyond was different; usually it was something that had significance when they were living, but Rose didn’t seem to recognize it. “What’s a Police Public Call Box?” she asked, looking up at him.
“It’s something from the ’60s,” he said, not feeling like going into much detail. He hated the thing if it was taking Rose away.
“Oh,” she said simply, pulling her hand away from his. She started to walk toward the light when suddenly she stopped and turned back to him. “Come with me,” she said.
It shocked him so much that for a moment he thought he’d heard her wrong. “What?” he asked, because she couldn’t mean what he thought she meant.
“Come with me,” she repeated, taking his hand again, a fierce look of determination in her eyes. “You said you don’t believe in heaven. Now’s your chance to find out.”
This was insane, impossible. “I’m not…I can’t…that place is for you, not me,” he told her, though he found his resolve slipping away.
She laughed, taking a step closer to him. “Doctor, I’ve only just met you,” she began, “and you’ll probably think I’m crazy. But I’m dead, and what’s death without taking a few chances?”
He had no idea where she was going with this. “What do you mean?”
That same fierce look glowed with an intense fire behind her eyes. “If that place hasn’t got you, then it’s not for me,” she told him. “Heaven is what you make it, and tonight is as close as I’ve gotten in a really long time.”
Before he knew what he was doing, he was kissing her again. This wasn’t the soft New Year’s kiss they shared before; this was desparate and passionate. This was life meeting death. This was heaven.
They pulled apart, breathless. Her hands gripped the lapels of his leather jacket and she smiled at him. “Well?” she asked.
The decision had been made the minute she’d asked him. He pulled away, took her hand in his, and leaned down, whispering in her ear: “Run!”
And they did.
When did I fall in love with you?
She’ll wonder one evening
As he sleeps beside her
His hair disheveled
His chest rising and falling
His single heart beating away in his chest
When did I fall in love with you?
She’ll wonder one morning
He’ll be puttering around the kitchen
Making them breakfast
Wearing an apron
The very definition of domestic
When did I fall in love with you?
She’ll wonder one afternoon
As a messenger drops off a bouquet of flowers
Lilies - not roses
With a card that reads
“I thought roses seemed a little cliche. Happy anniversary.”
When did I fall in love with you?
She’ll wonder one evening
She walks through the door, broken and bruised from a mission
He’s been sitting up waiting for her all night
He hushes her apologies
“Rose Tyler and the monsters - seems you cannot have one without the other.”
When did I fall in love with you?
She’ll wonder and wonder until
When he’s nearing the end
When she’s nearing the end
They hold hands and go together
Like it was the universe’s plan
When did I fall in love with you?
Before she created herself
Before the valiant child died in battle
Before the stars started going out
The crack closed and his hand slipped into hers
As it should be.
